Sunday, June 14, 2009

Alcohol and "Big" People

So listen to this nonsense...

I'm sitting at the pool after a ridiculously long day at the office. Now keep this is mind, the average age of our community is an easy 60. So needless to say, it's usually pretty quiet and subdued, aside from the occasional old lady that pees on herself when she gets drunk, or the other old lady that turns into a lesbian after drinking. Well not today!

There are these slightly younger people across from the pool that are drinking some very classy box wine. The wine begins to take over as the LARGE individuals across the pool begin virtually making children. It was not pleasant at all as at one point all I saw were these tree trunk like legs straight up in the air. (please hold, i just threw up a little in my mouth)...... Okay, I'm back.

Now, I have my two young children watching this nonsense, so I'm getting a little aggravated. Well, my 8 year old decides she needs to go to the restroom. Two of the large people decide they are going to go to the restroom together (guy and a "big" girl). This seemed like the perfect time to get up from bronzing and tell them to get the hell out of the girl's restroom. I guess I did something wrong as the "big" girl decided to scream at me to mind my own business. If that's not bad enough, the guy decides he wants to get involved. This is when it hit the fan!

I really was trying to speak kindly, but the "big" girl was just of control. Paying good money to live in a private community, we have the right to ask visitors to leave if deemed necessary. If the small bathing suits on the"big" girls weren't enough, or when those enormous legs wallowing around in the air as they all made out wasn't enough, I felt them going into the girl's restroom together to "hook" up with my 8 year old inside was good enough. Apparently they didn't agree.

Okay, to speed this up... Cops were called, "big" girl was arrested, and now my 8 year old is scarred for life... Great day!

And that's The Way I See It...